When you fast, when you pray
When You Pray, When You Fast: It's About Relationship, Not Performance
Prayer and fasting are two of the most powerful spiritual disciplines a believer can practice. But Jesus made it clear that the why behind these disciplines matters just as much as the practice itself. In Matthew 6:5-18, Jesus gives His clearest teaching on prayer and fasting, and the message is simple: both are about your relationship with God, not your religious performance.
Why Did Jesus Say "When" You Pray, Not "If" You Pray?
In Matthew 6, Jesus uses the language of expectation. He says "when you pray" and "when you fast," not "if." That distinction is significant. Jesus assumed that prayer and fasting would be a natural part of every believer's life.
It raises an honest question worth sitting with: When last did you pray? When last did you fast?
In Matthew 17, the disciples encountered a desperate Father whose son was tormented by an evil Spirit. They tried everything they knew and failed. When Jesus arrived, He cast the demon out with ease. Later, when the disciples asked why they couldn't do it, Jesus told them plainly: these kinds of situations only come out through prayer and fasting.
There are moments in life when something moves into your home, your finances, your relationships, or your health that requires a radical shift in your spiritual posture. Not loud or performative, but sincere and persistent. Sometimes you have to push until something happens.
Prayer Is About Relationship, Not Recognition
In Matthew 6:5-6, Jesus warns against praying to be noticed. The problem was not public prayer. Jesus Himself prayed publicly. The problem was performative prayer, using prayer as a display of spirituality to impress others.
Jesus says to go into your closet, your secret place, and pray to your Father who is there in secret. That secret place represents intimacy with God. It is where He develops things in you privately before He brings them out publicly.
Your private prayer life sustains your public spiritual life.
When no one is watching, when no one is applauding, do you still seek God? That is the real question. Prayer is not about impressing God with your words. It is about opening your heart to Him completely. Whether you are sad, tired, lonely, frustrated, afraid, or in urgent need, He wants to hear it all.
Prayer is not informing God of what He does not know. Prayer is inviting God into what you cannot handle for yourself.
Why You Don't Need Fancy Words to Pray
In Matthew 6:7-8, Jesus warns against vain repetition. He is not condemning persistence in prayer. Scripture teaches us to pray without ceasing. He is warning against empty, hollow words spoken to sound spiritual or eloquent.
Jesus reminds us that the Father already knows what you need before you ask. So prayer is not merely about getting something from God. Prayer is about drawing closer to God.
Pray in the capacity you have. Do not try to sound like someone else. Just be you, and be sincere.
What Is the Right Pattern for Prayer?
In Matthew 6:9-13, Jesus gives a framework for prayer that covers every dimension of our relationship with God.
- Our Father, which art in heaven - We approach God as our Father. This is relationship.
- Hallowed be thy name - We honor and worship Him before we bring our requests.
- Give us this day our daily bread - We declare our dependence on Him for provision.
- Forgive us our debts - We come with repentance, asking Him to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
- As we forgive our debtors - We extend to others the same forgiveness we have received.
- Lead us not into temptation - We acknowledge our vulnerability and need for His guidance.
- Deliver us from evil - We recognize that spiritual battles require spiritual dependence.
Prayer is not asking God to bless your plans. Prayer brings your plans under the will of Almighty God.
The parable in Matthew 18 makes the point about forgiveness powerfully. A servant was forgiven an impossible debt by a compassionate king, then immediately turned around and choked a fellow servant over a small amount. When the king heard, he revoked the forgiveness and handed the servant over to be punished. The warning is clear: if we want to receive forgiveness, we must be willing to extend it.
Fasting Is Not About Looking Spiritual
In Matthew 6:16-18, Jesus transitions to fasting. In His day, some people deliberately made themselves look miserable when fasting so others would notice their sacrifice. Jesus says that is the wrong approach entirely.
Do not advertise your sacrifice. Wash your face. Put yourself together. Nobody needs to know you are fasting. The reward does not come from the recognition of people. It comes from the Father who sees you in secret and rewards you openly.
Fasting is not about looking spiritual. It is about being serious with God when no one else is watching.
How Do Prayer and Fasting Work Together?
Prayer says to God, "I need You." Fasting says to God, "I desire You more than I desire comfort."
Prayer directs your attention toward God. Fasting disconnects your attention from competing appetites and distractions. Together, they send a clear message to heaven: God, I am serious about seeking You.
God Sees What Others Cannot See
In verse 18, Jesus returns to a beautiful and encouraging truth. The Father who sees in secret sees everything others miss.
People may never know about the early morning hours you spent in prayer. They may never know the meal you gave up, the tears you cried, the temptation you resisted, or the burden you carried into church while still pressing through. But God sees it all.
People see appearance. God sees motive. People see action. God sees your heart. People may applaud your public ministry, but God knows the private devotion behind it.
Life Application
This week, commit to one intentional act of private prayer or fasting that no one else knows about. Not for a social media post, not to mention it in conversation, but just between you and God. Find your secret place, whether that is early in the morning, during a lunch break, or late at night, and bring your honest heart before Him. If you have never fasted before, start small. Skip one meal and use that time to pray instead.
As you do, ask yourself these questions:
- Am I more hungry for comfort than I am for God's presence?
- Is my prayer life something I practice privately, or only when others are watching?
- Is there someone I need to forgive before I can truly receive what I am asking God for?
- What situation in my life right now requires me to get serious with God through prayer and fasting?
God is not looking for a performance. He is looking for a heart that genuinely seeks after Him. Draw near to Him, and He will draw near to you.