What Jesus Says about Adultery and Divorce
What Does Jesus Really Say About Adultery, Lust, and Divorce?
Few topics carry more emotional weight in the church than adultery and divorce. Jesus addresses both directly in the Sermon on the Mount, and His words cut deeper than most people expect. This is not a comfortable passage, but it is an important one for anyone who wants to understand what God truly values in human relationships.
Understanding the Context: Jesus and the Law
To understand what Jesus is saying in Matthew 5:27-32, you have to understand the thread He is following throughout the entire Sermon on the Mount. He is not giving disconnected sayings. He is building a case.
He starts with this foundation in verse 17: "Don't misunderstand why I have come. I did not come to abolish the law of Moses or the writings of the prophets. No, I came to accomplish their purpose." (Matthew 5:17, New Living Translation (NLT))
Then He raises the bar in verse 20: "But I warn you, unless your righteousness is better than the righteousness of the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees, you will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven!" (Matthew 5:20, New Living Translation (NLT))
That is a stunning statement. The Pharisees were considered the most religiously devoted people of their time. And yet Jesus says that is not enough. Why? Because following rules on the outside while the heart remains unchanged is not what God is after.
What Does "You Have Heard It Said" Mean?
Throughout this section of the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus uses a specific phrase: "You have heard it said." He does not say "it is written." That distinction matters. He is pointing to what people had been taught, what had been passed down through tradition and religious instruction, and then He corrects or deepens it.
Many people grow up believing that Christianity is a checklist. Wear the right things. Avoid the wrong things. Follow the rules and you are holy. Jesus is dismantling that idea entirely. He is saying that true righteousness is a matter of the heart, not just behavior.
Lust Is Not Just a Physical Problem
"You have heard the commandment that says, 'You must not commit adultery.' But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart." (Matthew 5:27-28, New Living Translation (NLT))
Jesus is not simply talking about a physical act. He is talking about how we see and value other people. When lust enters the picture, a person is reduced to an object, something that exists only to satisfy a momentary desire. That is the heart issue Jesus is addressing.
God designed human beings to be in committed, covenant relationships. The pattern of moving from partner to partner, what some call serial monogamy, is not how He designed us to live. Jesus points to the woman at the well as an example of someone living outside of that design, not to condemn her, but to reveal the truth of her situation.
What About Divorce? What Is Jesus Actually Saying?
"You have heard the law that says, 'A man can divorce his wife by merely giving her a written notice of divorce.' But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman also commits adultery." (Matthew 5:31-32, New Living Translation (NLT))
This passage is difficult. It does not leave a lot of obvious room for the complicated realities of human relationships. But it is important to read it in the full context of Scripture rather than in isolation.
In Jesus' day, there were two schools of thought on divorce. One said divorce was only permissible in cases of sexual immorality. The other said a man could divorce his wife for virtually any reason, including something as trivial as burning a meal. Moses had allowed a certificate of divorce as a practical measure, partly to protect women who had very little social standing or legal protection outside of marriage.
Jesus is not ignoring the complexities of real life. He is confronting the casual, disposable attitude toward marriage that had developed. When divorce becomes easy and consequence-free, human beings become disposable. That is what He is pushing back against.
Are There Legitimate Reasons for Divorce?
Yes. Scripture itself outlines conditions of the marriage covenant. When those conditions are not met, the covenant is broken. Abuse, neglect, and harm are real. The devil will try to make people in those situations feel trapped, but that is not the heart of God.
Christ came to set people free, not to keep them in misery. If someone is in a situation of physical danger or serious harm, seeking help is not a failure of faith. It is wisdom. There are legitimate grounds in Scripture for the dissolution of a marriage when the covenant has already been broken by the other party.
However, for those whose marriages are simply difficult, where two imperfect people are struggling to live together, the call is to work it out. Patience, commitment, and love are not optional extras. They are the foundation.
Marriage as a Picture of Christ and the Church
The reason marriage matters so deeply is found in Ephesians 5. Paul writes that the relationship between a husband and wife is a picture of the relationship between Christ and the church.
"For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her." (Ephesians 5:25, New Living Translation (NLT))
Wives are called to submit to their husbands as to the Lord. Husbands are called to love their wives the way Christ loves the church, sacrificially, completely, and without condition. The weight of that responsibility falls heavily on men. It is not about control. It is about laying down your life for someone else the way Jesus did for us.
When we understand marriage through this lens, divorce is not just a legal matter. It is a statement about how we view our relationship with Christ Himself. If we are willing to give up on the relationship that represents Christ and the church, what does that say about how we view our relationship with Him?
Holiness Is Uncomfortable, But It Is the Call
Living in holiness is not trendy. It is not easy. It requires saying no to things that feel natural and yes to things that feel inconvenient. But that is the standard Jesus sets. Not because He wants to make life hard, but because He knows what we were made for.
Throughout the Old Testament, God described Israel as His bride. And over and over again, Israel chased after other things. And over and over again, God stayed. That is the picture of what Christ has done for us. We are the ones who wander. He is the one who remains faithful.
That same faithfulness is what we are called to reflect in our marriages and in our personal holiness.
Practical Steps Toward Holiness This Week
- Be intentional about where your eyes go and what you allow your mind to dwell on.
- Pray before you act, especially in moments of frustration or temptation.
- Find someone you trust who can speak truth into your life and pray with you when you do not know what to do.
- If you are married, remove the word divorce from your vocabulary entirely. Do not open that door, even in anger.
- If you are in a dangerous situation, seek help. You are not trapped. Christ came to set you free.
Life Application
This week, take an honest look at the condition of your heart, not just your actions. Jesus makes it clear that what we think and what we allow ourselves to dwell on matters just as much as what we do. Holiness begins on the inside.
If you are married, make a deliberate choice this week to love your spouse the way Christ loves the church, not based on what they deserve, but based on your commitment. Do one specific thing to invest in that relationship, whether that is a conversation, an act of service, or simply choosing patience in a moment when it does not come naturally.
If you are single or recovering from a broken relationship, ask God to show you His love in a fresh way this week. Let Him be the source of your fulfillment before anything or anyone else.
Ask yourself these questions:
- What does the condition of my heart reveal about how I truly view the people closest to me?
- Am I treating my marriage, or the idea of marriage, as a covenant or as a contract I can exit when it becomes inconvenient?
- In what areas of my life am I choosing comfort over holiness?
- Who do I have in my life that I can call when I am struggling, and am I actually reaching out to them?